Creating a Spirit of Giving

It's that time of year again when you hear so much about "giving." In a recent online poll conducted for one of our clients, nearly 50% of respondents said they would donate to a charity this holiday season, and 28% said they would volunteer their time.

If you manage a nonprofit, chances are this discussion happens year-round: how do we convince others to give; how do we we recruit volunteers; what makes donors choose our organization? Most of these discussions center around current and prospective donors - in other words, adults. But I've always been more curious in how, where and when "giving" actually begins. How do we raise children to be generous and cheerful givers? What factors determine whether a teen will grow into a regular donor or volunteer? What role do nonprofits play in teaching "generosity"?

This may seem a little off-topic for an association management blog, but humor me for a moment. In this post, I'd like to look at some of the factors and lessons that I believe influence giving. A big disclaimer here: these ideas don't come from years of expert studies or widespread research. These are concepts I've noticed in my daily life from serving as a Girl Scout leader, volunteer and from my own childhood.

Lesson #1: Giving starts early, and it's best if it starts at home.
I work with 6- to 8-year-olds, and it's amazing how ingrained their ideas about charity are even by this age. In our troop, we conducted a service project and asked the girls to bring in stuffed animals they no longer used to donate to a charity. Immediately we had girls pipe up to say, "I don't have anything I can give" or "My mom doesn't want me to donate." Now whether these statements were true or not is really unimportant -- it's the fact that these kids already believed them to be true.

If you're a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, etc. -- I believe you have to think about the messages you're sending about giving to the children in your life. Do you portray a model of service or volunteerism? Do you talk to your kids about the charities that you donate to or how you donate?

Lesson #2: Giving can be encouraged, but it can't be forced.
Guilt works pretty well with adults - just ask anyone who has donated to a charity after receiving those address labels in the mail. But if you're trying to create a spirit of generosity in children, it's a little less effective.

Growing up, we had family friends who created a tradition to "teach" their children about giving. Each Christmas morning, after all the presents were opened, each child had to select one of their toys to be given away to charity. Now this might sound like a good exercise, and it might have even worked well with older kids. But for the most part, all this created was resentful and unhappy children on Christmas morning. Instead of learning that there was plenty to go around, they associated "giving" with "losing something" - not a great incentive for future giving.

Lesson #3: Giving isn't optional - how you do it is.
This may sound in opposition to the previous statement, but hear me out. If giving is something that you put off until you have "more" - whether that's more time, more money, more security or more resources - chances are that it will never happen. There will always be something standing between you writing that check or volunteering your time. (When was the last time you heard someone say they had plenty of time and money?)

Instead, I think it's important to teach children that service and giving is something you do regardless of your circumstances in life. We are continually looking for real and meaningful ways that the girls in our troop can participate in service, even at their young ages -- whether it's entertaining the residents of a nursing home or making ornaments for the Trees for Troops program.

Lesson #4: Giving comes from a place of acceptance, not judgment.
This is actually an easy one for kids - it's the adults that screw it up sometimes. Our words have power and can truly influence how kids see the world around them. What do you tell children about panhandlers on the street? How do you explain to kids why some people don't have homes or can't afford basic necessities? Why are some kids healthy while others are in hospitals? These aren't easy questions, but I think how you answer makes a big difference in how children view the message of charity.

I remember a few years back when my mom was approached by a man asking for spare change. Without thinking twice, she dug in her purse and handed him a couple of dollars. Upon walking away, she was confronted by a bystander who reprimanded her, saying "You know he's just going to use it for drugs or alcohol." She didn't respond, but later, as she told me the story, she said, "If he's reached that low of a point in his life that begging seemed like the only option, who am I to judge?" Obviously, there's a time to teach children about effective giving and researching charities -- but sometimes a simple message of understanding and acceptance goes a long way.

Lesson #5: Giving comes from knowledge and understanding, not fear or ignorance.
Want to create lifelong givers? Show them a need, help them understand that need and demonstrate how their efforts make a difference. This goes for adults too -- all too often, we don't give because we don't really see how our check or time makes an impact.

In high school, I had the opportunity to participate in a unique program called Focus St. Louis, an effort to expose students to the challenges and opportunities facing our communities. We visited jails, prisons and healthcare facilities, met with political leaders, volunteered at social service agencies - even spent a night in a homeless shelter. As a relatively privileged middle class kid, these experiences opened my eyes. Education and exposure are powerful tools -- tools that are utilized far too infrequently by nonprofits and charities.

And these lessons aren't just for parents or educators - they're lessons that nonprofits and charitable organizations need to be incorporating into their outreach and programs.

I have some thoughts on this that I'll share in my next post ... but I'd love to hear how your organization is reaching out to the next generation of givers.